Live after MArried (My thought)

Salam

Hi all.

Today,  I would like to share my thought. Emm...

I just realize something. 

That life after married is hard. 

Especially when you are getting older. 

You might scared of many things. 

Like, your husband behaviour, your work, your children,

your income, your responsibility, your in laws,

your house, your car, your children education, and many more.

As I getting older, I gain experienced from people surround me. My sisters' life, my brothers' life,

my parent's life, my friend's life, from drama, and from book.

As you getting older, the more you want the perfection.

As you getting older, and still not married, you are tend to make sure your life is better than anyone than one you saw and watched.

For me, I love watching drama. I know it is not reality but I really love to live within that drama.

It bring me happiness even for a while.

Having romantic and suitable that perfectly for you and you are the special one with him it can make your day full of rainbow, butterfly and sweet.

However, as you realize it just a drama, it will bring stress and lowered your confident level.

I know now that young people tend to get marry early because they know less about life (in my opinion).

They are brave enough to challenge the life after married and withstand with that because I think they do not expect more towards their partner. They are learning together. Completing each other.

But, one who actually surpass this level and entering new stage like me. 

You are now expecting something from your married life. 

You are now can stand on your own. 

Have a car, have a job, have a single life, and you did all that all alone.

So, the meaning of marriage become a burden to you.

"If I can do that by my self why am I getting married to someone who actually can't provide me with anything?"

I know it just my thought. But I can conclude here that Marriage is getting harder for me.

I want to live for the whole of my life with him.

So, I become so picky.

Find someone who really suitable for me. Fulfil all my requirement.

But then it will trigger me, reminding me that I'm also not a perfect person.

All I can do now just be a good self to my parents and family.

Not for anyone else.

I just can pray that someday, the one who looking for me is one who can accept me and I can accept him without any doubt.

Because right now I really afraid of marriage.

Really afraid of future that lies ahead.

XOXO,

KAzu.