Alone vs Couple

Salam

hi all ^^

I just want to share what I thinking while writing this post.

emm..

Have you all ever think that you love to do things alone rather to have some one beside you?

emm...

Ok

it started when my friend accompany me to renew my passport.

then, along the way I make him a bit sad because of my talk and behavior.

emm... then we have this awkward outing.

He mad at me and I dont know which one of my action make him mad and disappointed with me.

But we still went to renew my passport.

He being silent and me just let it be.

We just talk what necessary.

During the outing i just kept thinking that it was better if I went there alone. 

Not bothering anyone. 

not make anyone feel depressed and everything I just handle it my self. 

I realize that I love to walk alone, do things alone and make my own decision without need to consult with anyone. 

emm...

It not just that.

I love to run alone and I really feel burden when I run with someone. 

I dont want to let people wait for me and dont like to wait for other.

I enjoy running alone. thinking alone and just by myself.

I tend to make the person beside me feel annoyed, feel burden and I just cant control my behavior.

I cant deliver my thought in voice.

I tend to make people misunderstand me. 

Misunderstand with my words.

Misunderstand with my concern, 

misunderstand with what I want to say,

and the worse think is I cant explain clearly what I mean.

And end up just keep quite and admit that I'm wrong.

emmm...

I feel burden with this kind of feeling.

I feel burden with this kind of emotion.

So, what solution I take?

I just do less activity together.

less talk.

less idea.

less discussion.

then it will create less misunderstanding.

Rite?

less interaction means less words.

hehehe... Ok, im sound depressed rite?

yes I'm.

hahaha..

coz of that i write.

to release it.

im tired to be a perfect kind person.

im tired to be a good person.

especially when with someone who expect me to be a good one.

When I'm alone I can do what I want, I can go where i want, can have what I want, Can eat what i want,

n 

can have time time with my self.

I just love to be alone nowadays.

emm..

emm.. It will get better. I hope.

hehehe...

Love you guys who read this.

heheh... Dont be like me. 

Be positive.

Be transparent then people will know u better.

I'm trying my best here to make my Other Half happy.

So do u.

Just appreciate your self more.

XOXO,

Kazu