The Blue Lily ^^

Salam,

hehehe... Thought dont want to do it.

But eager to have at least an album.

hohoh..

So, on 13th May,

we went to our famous lake, Tasik Shah Alam.

hohohoh...

It was nice. 

We are happy.

Hope to have more like this sooner.

hehehe...

XOXO,

Kazu

WW: Bandar Cahaya ^^

Salam

Here I pray to God that I will be able to visit there again with my husband.

In sya Allah.

Memory of 12 March 2014.

The best gift to me for this entire life.

Alhamdulillah

XOXO,

KAzu

STRESS

Salam

hi guys:)

I'm stress right now.

The more I think, the more I stress.

I just want to hide all things, n do nothing.

But I know, later I will regret why I just let it go.

emmm...

I feel alone.

All the burden on me.

the bad thing is I want the other party to feel the same.

Emmm...

STRESS.

XOXO,

KAzu

Commitment???

Salam,

hi all.

just my rambling.

Since uni time, i really hate commitment.

Human relationship is hard for me to handle.

I cant keep my circle growing bigger and larger because I dont have the ability to keep it strong.

Human are always want something that not in their hand. 

As for me, when i'm a single, I pray to Allah to gv me a partner.

Then, He granted my wish and gv me a prtner. 

Insya Allah, soon will be my husband.

But at the same time He gv me problems that make me now really appreciated my Single life.

To keep the commitment, 

to play with one heart, 

to take care of one pride,

to understand one thinking,

to sacrifice your own principle,

to explain things and gv reason,

Why cant you just accept what I want, what I do, what I think, what I feel, What i thought, 

then you can advise me.

Why there always people who just think they are right.

emm..

Am i full of myself.

Am i just think for myself?

I just dont want to do something that when I see others do it, I fell shame.

emmm...

When you are being told that you are selfish, what should you do? 

Ignore it? or just leave your principle behind and just follow the flow?

When people have their own definition of "RIGHT" and "WRONG", we will always argument.

That is why Allah  and Rasul gv us way, gv us rule to follow.

ALLAH.

Forgive me.

XOXO,

KAzu.

Do not Speak when u are angry

Salam,

hi all.

 :)

it always happen to me.
I said something that should not be said and at the end of the day i just hurt more people.
or else the hurt keep getting deeper.

i prefer not to speak.
i prefer not say out loud what i think what i feel.
coz at then end it always me who did all the mistake.

I'm an emotional person.
especially when i feel attached to some people.
I not dare to expect anything from them because i will feel sad, sadder, even saddest (if the word exist)
if they can reach my expectation.

Allah.
Allah.
Allah.

Please ya Allah, release my pain.
It is You who hold everything.
It is You who hv all the power.
Allah is Almighty.

words cannot solve anything.
Eventhough I know communication is important,
Words always make me feel sad.

I just want to keep silence.
Keep silence till one day I can let it go.

emmm....
(See: I let my emotion take over and now i writing this post)
emmm...

XOXO,
KAzu.

Rabu tanpa suara

Its really a silence.

XOXO,

KAzu

My Thought O_0???

Salam,

I were asked to express my feeling, hope and do the talk.

for him. 

He want to hear it, gv me opportunity to deliver my feeling without any burden.

But I failed.

Speak, is something that easy to do but for me, there are always someone who will be affected with my saying. 

Either because of my words or my way of speaking.

and my Other Half always the one who been affected with my speak.

Misunderstanding.

My bad is that I cant explain clearly.

I'm tried to explain in a way he will understand.

Sometime he understand, sometime he is not. 

sometime, my way of explaining will make him hurt.

emmm.... 

Silent is the best way when i think no point of explaining.

But...

Silent is awkward.

Source: Here

Change or no change?

Which one is the best?

XOXO

KAzu

"I'm OK"

huhu..

Be considerate and look after your love one. 

Sometime they just dont want to make you worry. 

But be sensitive and know that human heart is fragile.

XOXO

KAzU

The NIGHT!

Salam

 hi all,

hehehe...

I have something to share.

Early this month, on 2nd January 2014,

He proposed me. 

hehehe...

Alhamdulillah, 

After a whole day spent time together,

At the end of the outing

he take out a letter,

and let me sit beside him.

Then, he read the letter out loud.

Not till others can hear. 

it just me.

Alhamdulillah,

even though I can't reply so much 

but I hope he understand that I really do appreciate what he do to fulfil my request. 

He really nice and I believe he was so nervous that night. 

ahaks.

May Allah bless us all. 

XOXO,

KAzu

Wordless Wednesday: Around My House :)

Salam

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Hope Allah will bless us all.

Ok,

get back to the topic.

These are what around my house look a like.

I LOVE my House

hehe..

Later I'll story a bit.

XOXO,

Kazu

Alone vs Couple

Salam

hi all ^^

I just want to share what I thinking while writing this post.

emm..

Have you all ever think that you love to do things alone rather to have some one beside you?

emm...

Ok

it started when my friend accompany me to renew my passport.

then, along the way I make him a bit sad because of my talk and behavior.

emm... then we have this awkward outing.

He mad at me and I dont know which one of my action make him mad and disappointed with me.

But we still went to renew my passport.

He being silent and me just let it be.

We just talk what necessary.

During the outing i just kept thinking that it was better if I went there alone. 

Not bothering anyone. 

not make anyone feel depressed and everything I just handle it my self. 

I realize that I love to walk alone, do things alone and make my own decision without need to consult with anyone. 

emm...

It not just that.

I love to run alone and I really feel burden when I run with someone. 

I dont want to let people wait for me and dont like to wait for other.

I enjoy running alone. thinking alone and just by myself.

I tend to make the person beside me feel annoyed, feel burden and I just cant control my behavior.

I cant deliver my thought in voice.

I tend to make people misunderstand me. 

Misunderstand with my words.

Misunderstand with my concern, 

misunderstand with what I want to say,

and the worse think is I cant explain clearly what I mean.

And end up just keep quite and admit that I'm wrong.

emmm...

I feel burden with this kind of feeling.

I feel burden with this kind of emotion.

So, what solution I take?

I just do less activity together.

less talk.

less idea.

less discussion.

then it will create less misunderstanding.

Rite?

less interaction means less words.

hehehe... Ok, im sound depressed rite?

yes I'm.

hahaha..

coz of that i write.

to release it.

im tired to be a perfect kind person.

im tired to be a good person.

especially when with someone who expect me to be a good one.

When I'm alone I can do what I want, I can go where i want, can have what I want, Can eat what i want,

n 

can have time time with my self.

I just love to be alone nowadays.

emm..

emm.. It will get better. I hope.

hehehe...

Love you guys who read this.

heheh... Dont be like me. 

Be positive.

Be transparent then people will know u better.

I'm trying my best here to make my Other Half happy.

So do u.

Just appreciate your self more.

XOXO,

Kazu 

LAZY ....

Salam

huhuhu...

I dont want to come to work.

I want a holiday.

huhuhu..

But I cant.

Coz I have a lot of work.

Plus, it just a week before I have 4 days of holiday.

Aaaaaaaahhhhh....

what should i do??

XOXO,

KAzu

????

Salam

Hi all...

Pray for me as I dont know what to do anymore.

  T T

Redha, Syukur and Confident in Allah decision.

Its really hard to do.

Ya Allah, please help me. 

For those who didnt understand:

" Sometimes we envy what others have compared with what we already have,
But you didn't know that what you have is already the best for you given by Allah"
"Every weaknesses has strength"

KAzu

Wordless wednesday : play around :)

Try guess, what i want to do with this?

hehehe...

XOXO,

Kazu

Done

Salam

we r done.

Through phone call.

"lets break-up"

KAzu

Being Together ( ^_^)m

Salam

Selamat pagi.

Good Morning :)

Ok. This entry is when I jog around Tasik Shah Alam.

That day, my friend said want to spent his morning with me.

But turn out, he late. hahahha..

Emm. ok my mistake. So i cant be mad at him. Because, i made him sleep late the night before.

huhuhu...

These picture were taken after jog.

9am.

Then, i found something.

hehehe... A couple.

They just do what they do without even care people around them.

People keep looking at them.

huhu..

especially me.

hahaha..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Do you see that guys?

Not the people behind the pole.

the two under the bush.

Yes.. A hen and a rooster.

I believe, they are husband and wife. 

hehehe...

hehehehe...

when  show this couple to my friend, he said that they live here.

The owner of these chickens are the owner of the cafe beside the lake.

p/s: every creatures in this world are made by couple.

So, no need to worry if u r alone.

one day u'll find someone that suit yourself.

Complete each other.

XOXO,

Kazu.

High eExpectation -__-

Salam

hi all...

Morning and happy Saturday.

This is the day when we can have our rest.

hehe..

emmm... 

I'm one of many people who dont like to have high expectation.

Why???

emmm...

I do think when i have high expectation, n the result is not what i expect,

i'll become stress and sad.

Really.

This is me.

I always dont have any expectation at all.

Then i can appreciate all the little things happen in my life.

I dont want to live in failure.

I dont want to live in stress.

Coz of the result is not like the expectation.

So,

I make a decision to live my life to the fullest.

Do my best n have expectation but not the high one.

So, when the result is above my expectation I'll become happy and feel I deserve to have the success.

Consequently, I dont have high expectation on others.

I dont have expectation that others will do good think to me.

I dont have expectation that other will take care of me.

Because,

if they dont, i'll be sad.

I'll think that I need to dissapear.

emmm...

Am I insane?

emmm...

I know, somewhere out there live their life as me.

emm.. Dont take it in bad way.

But make your life happier.

XOXO

KAzu

My hand touch :p

Salam

hi all  :)

Good Morning. hehehe

I love to bake. A simple bake will satisfy my heart.

Especially when there were people to eat what ever i make.

hehehe...

It will double.. no triple my desire to bake. hehee 

Ok, 

I know. Sometime the result not as what i want.

But my mom said, the effort that should be appreciated. 

hehe...

Below is Kek Lumut.

I made it during Eid.

hehehe...

I really like this cake. 

I hv made it last year.

This time the cake became more moist.

the taste? emm.. delicious. hahaha

Then, 

one day, i found a simple recipe.  

Brownies.

Very simple. 

hehehe..

So, when one of my colleague resign,

I made this brownie.

As the recipe said, Nutella Brownie.

For me, who doesnt like brownie, emmm...

still not my liking. hahaha..

heheheh.. the yellow one is actually a cheese cake. 

Made it for some one. 

heheh..

Along with Nutella brownie, I made a cake. 

American Cheese Cake.

Simple and easy.

hehehe...

I like it. Everyone like it. hehehe...

I definitely make it next time. 

hehehe

( I know, the appearance is not so good. But the taste is amazing)

hehehe...

Nowadays, i find it hard to cook. huhuhuh...

Lazy. hehehe

Xoxo,

Kazu

My Other Half ( ^~^)m

Salam.

My life is full with him.

Thank you Allah for all these Happiness.

Dont let me away from You, Allah. 

Ya Allah, save me from Your hell.

I want to be your servant who know how to thank you.

Thank you, Allah.

These were what he sent to me @ 110913

My Other Half <3

I found it in him, My Other Half

I'm sorry if this entry is about my feeling.

I want to save it.

The emotion I have today will remain

as long as I read these messages.

I want to remember this feeling.

hehehe...

XOXO,

Kazu.

When you think you are not pretty..... T_T

Salam

hi all...

emmm... I somehow cant look to someone who seem so pretty. especially one who live in my radius.

My friends is what i mean.

eemmm.. I fell so demotivated.

huhuhuh...

I'm not pretty, cant do any make up

and dont know how to dress.

huhuhuh...

The solution is simple, right?

LEARN.

Thats all, right?

Emmm.. easy to say than act.

I really easily feel demotivated.

especially when i cant do nothing about that.

huhuhu....

Dont be like me. 

Ok,

Promise me ok :)

XOXO,

Kazu